[CitizensTruth] FW: Blue states

[Robin Migalla]

-----Original Message-----
Sent:	Tuesday, October 21, 2008 10:45
Subject:	Blue states

I received this today. I thought it was too good not to pass along.

Dear Red States...We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own 
country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon , Washington 
,Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe 
this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people 
of the new country of 'New California'.

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research 
and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and 
Microsoft. You get World Com. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get 
Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red 
states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent 
lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You 
get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be 
pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from 
Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have 
kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and 
they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets 
coming home.

We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're 
not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of 
the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and 
lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95  percent of America's 
quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90 percent of 
all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. 
low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and 
Seven Sister schools, plus Cal, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red 
States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all 
obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all 
U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the 
hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of 
all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the 
University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite , thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was 
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless 
we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that 
evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 
61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals 
then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too.  You can have that dirtweed 
they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue  States