[Discoveries] 02-15-07 Parenting styles

[Inspiration in Your Inbox]

/*... He cares for you. -- 1 Peter 5:7*/

Some parents want to form a relationship with their children. They 
listen to them. They care about their feelings. They validate them. They 
understand that their children are also human beings who are learning to 
interpret their experiences and make responsible decisions. They gain 
their leadership role in a child's life primarily from the relational 
investment.

Other parents want to control their children. The child's feelings and 
experiences are irrelevant; what matters is the child's attitude and 
behavior. They don't want to "spoil" their child. They gravitate quickly 
to the "spare the rod and spoil the child" passages, but don't imagine 
that the love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13, might have anything to do with 
parenting. Their authority in a child's life comes from their power and 
their position as parents.

I'm oversimplifying here to make a point: For many years I didn't 
understand that God is a relational Father. I just thought He was busy 
managing behavior; it didn't occur to me that He might deeply care about 
how you and I feel and what we are experiencing. Once I began 
understanding that, then prayer stopped being a spiritual discipline and 
became an opportunity to hang out with Someone who loves me.

I have listened to Christian leaders who believe that our feelings are 
inconvenient nuisances that we should try to ignore as much as possible 
-- especially our hurt feelings. I'm glad God doesn't feel that way. He 
cares about you -- and by receiving His care for us we will find a 
wellspring of love with which to care for others.

Be encouraged!
Dwight


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