[Discoveries] 08-04-08 About my dad -- Exodus 20:12

[Inspiration in Your Inbox]

/*Honor your father ... -- Exodus 20:12*/

I don't know about you, but I had to grow into this command of honoring 
my father. I was terrified of him as a child. I could never understand 
other kids who wanted to spend more time with their dads -- I wanted to 
avoid mine at all costs. For four and a half years spread out over three 
occasions during my childhood, my dad was away from home on military 
assignments. Those times gave me space to breathe. At least then I only 
needed to be afraid when I was at school. I hated my dad, but I needed 
him, because he was the only one in my world strong enough to protect me 
from everything else I was terrified of. It was a strange relationship.

When I was in my twenties, I worked up the courage to tell my dad that I 
grew up afraid of him. He was stunned. He had no idea. He saw our 
childhood as idyllic. And, compared to his, it was.

It took a long time before I began to put together the pieces of the 
puzzle. My dad was flawed -- yes. But as life unfolded, I began to see 
many of his flaws in myself. And I began to recognize my dad's 
extraordinary courage. Nobody ever gave my dad any coaching, mentoring 
or encouragement. He had to stand alone, and that's how he learned to 
live his whole life. He did what he thought was right even when he had 
to buck the crowd to do it.

My dad made some terrible mistakes that left pain in other lives. But, 
especially toward the end, he began to mellow. I saw him cry -- not 
once, but many times, hurting for his family and for his own very deep 
wounds. I saw a gentle side to him that I never knew was there. One day 
we were talking, and he said to me, "Just a minute; I need to do 
something." He stepped away from me to help an elderly woman in a 
wheelchair.

In the last few days of his life, he taught me how to pray. My mom had 
cancer and I was trying to come up with the best prayer I could for her. 
But when it came his turn, no words came out. Only sobs from a broken 
heart.

Now that he's been gone for nine years, I compare myself to my dad and 
come up short. As a provider, as a generous man, as a sacrificial giver 
of time and money, as a man who stood unshakable no matter which way the 
wind blew, I stand in his shadow.

So folks, I'm still figuring this out. But I want to pause and honor my 
dad, and the God who had the wisdom to put him in my life.

Be encouraged!
Dwight

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