[Discoveries] 08-30-08 Sin and solutions -- Psalm 51:6

[Inspiration in Your Inbox]

/*"Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in 
the inmost place." -- Psalm 51:6*/

Why do good Christians fall? Why do some surveys put pornography use 
among Christian men as high as 61%? Why is the incidence of moral 
failure as high (or higher) among pastors as it is among parishioners? 
Why are so many Christians trapped in Romans 7, in a 
sin-confess-sin-confess cycle that won't let them go?

Some time ago I met with a man -- I'll call him Jim -- who had been 
trapped in an adulterous affair. Jim had been a good Christian husband 
and father. He was a leader in his church and in his community. But he 
fell into sin.

Now everybody around him was busy telling him how rotten he was. "You 
are a sex addict." "You are in denial." "You need to take responsibility 
for your actions." "You can't be trusted." And so on.

As Jim told me about this, I suspected that these admonitions, while 
well meaning, were only aggravating the real problem.

When I met with Jim, I took a different approach. I asked him, "How did 
it feel when these Christian leaders told you that you couldn't be 
trusted?" It wasn't long before we got to feelings of shame and fear. 
(Yes, there was true guilt about his sin, but that had been dealt with. 
The leftover feeling was false shame.)

Why did I ask him how he felt?

Many people believe that feelings are irrelevant. But if you are 
ignoring feelings in your ministry, you are missing huge opportunities 
for God. Emotions reveal deep-down, gut-level beliefs. Emotions are not 
a reliable guide to right and wrong; the right thing to do is the right 
thing to do whether we feel like it or not. But emotions are a reliable 
guide to what is going on inside us. And if we want to change, we need 
to get real about what's inside.

I asked Jim how long these feelings had been a part of his life. Pretty 
soon he was in memories of the abuse he received at the hands of his 
father.

Why bother with memories?

Because memories are an important part of who we are. Most of the lies 
we believe deep down are connected to memories where these lies were 
implanted.

We kept inviting Jesus into all of this: the adultery, the shame, the 
fear, the memories. As we did this, sometimes there were sins to 
confess. Sometimes there was anger to give to the Lord. Sometimes there 
were offenses against Jim that needed to be forgiven. But mostly, Jim 
just needed to experience the love of Christ. He often sat in my office 
for fifteen, twenty minutes at a time, just basking in the love of 
Christ, communicated directly from God's Spirit to the damaged places in 
Jim's soul.

What was the outcome? The "other woman" lost her attraction in Jim's 
life. Jim had new compassion, respect and love for his wife, as well as 
for the "counselors" who had berated him. Although it took time to 
restore Jim's marriage and his life, God met with him in these few 
one-hour prayer sessions and repaired damage in his heart.

Be encouraged!
Dwight

What happens when you partner with Dwight Clough Ministries? Victims of 
violent crimes and survivors of abuse are finding peace, wholeness, the 
power to forgive and the strength to set boundaries. Those ensnared by 
addictions are finding freedom. Marriages are being restored. Families 
are strengthened. Christian brothers and sisters in restricted lands who 
face persecution are finding strength and encouragement. Young believers 
are learning how to walk with the Lord, and people are coming into the 
faith for the first time. None of this happens as a result of one 
person's efforts, but rather this is God's work as He blesses the 
sacrifice of many people including yourself. We partner with you, with 
other ministries, and, most significantly, with the Lord. That's how the 
supernatural happens.

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