[meteorite-list] Moble phones attract asteroids!

[Rob McCafferty]

If only it were true, I'd be out in my garden now
trying to attract a couple of hundred kilos of
Lunarite. Curse that April fool malarkey!
Rob McC

--- Darren Garrison <cynapse at charter.net> wrote:


>

http://www.mobilegazette.com/mobile-phones-to-destroy-earth-07x04x01.htm

> 

> Will Mobile Phones Destroy the Earth?

> 

> 1st April 2007 

> 

> A shock report out this week will show that mobile

> phones prevent a bigger

> threat to the environment than anyone has imagined -

> in fact, it states that

> continued use of mobile handsets will lead to the

> extinction of all life on

> Earth.

> 

> The claim seems outrageous, but it is backed by

> solid scientific prove that

> shows that the next text message you send could be

> responsible for the end of

> civilisation as we know it.

> 

> The work by Professor Frühling Dummkopf of the Luton

> Institute of Astronomical

> Research is the first in its field, and it examines

> the interaction of small

> bodies such as asteroids, meteors and comets in

> close earth orbit with the

> effective of the electromagnetic fields generated by

> modern cellular devices.

> 

> We interviewed Professor Dummkopf about these claims

> in a Mobile Gazette

> exclusive.

> 

> MG: Professor Dummkopf - it seems to us that mobile

> phones are very tiny things

> and asteroids are quite big things that are a very

> long way away. Are you saying

> that the two can interact?

> 

> Professor: Yes, although of course it takes more

> than one mobile phone to

> destroy the earth! 

> 

> MG: So, explain the problem for the benefit of our

> readers.

> 

> Professor: It is really very simple. Most asteroids

> are primarily carbonaceous

> or silicaceous with a much smaller number of

> metallic asteroids. Out of this

> last group, a number of objects seemed to be

> anomalous.

> 

> MG: Such as?

> 

> Professor: Well, 21 Lutetia is probably one you've

> heard of. That one had been

> puzzling us for a long time because we couldn't

> classify it.. however careful

> observation and research has lead us to believe that

> it is primarily made from a

> crystalline Scandium based alloy which forms

> remarkably regular superlattices

> that measure 0.3331 metres across, so you can see

> the problem straight away.

> 

> MG: Go on.

> 

> Professor: Well of course, 0.3331 metres is the

> wavelength of a signal broadcast

> at 900 MHz. And it's twice the wavelength of a

> signal broadcast at 1800 MHz.

> These are the most common frequencies used by mobile

> phones. Put simply, we

> discovered that the structure of the superlattice

> "tuned in" to mobile phone

> signals.

> 

> MG: So aliens are listening to our phone

> conversations?

> 

> Professor: That would be silly, but what we did

> discover is that the resonance

> of the radio signals is causing electromagnetic

> induction in bodies such as 21

> Lutetia which has the effect of shifting their

> orbits. That orbital shift is

> actually towards the earth. You could say the the

> earth has been charged up like

> a giant magnet and is pulling the bodies towards us.

> 

> MG: You said bodies, do you mean that there's more

> than one?

> 

> Professor: Yes, in fact [mobile phone rings] Sorry,

> I'd better get this. Hello?

> Yes, I'll be home at about seven o'clock. Yes, pasta

> will be fine. I've got to

> go. Errr.. where were we.. oh yes, we think that

> about 0.01% of small bodies in

> the solar system exhibit this property. That doesn't

> sound like much, but there

> are between one and two million bodies over one

> kilometre in size.. so that's

> about one or two hundred objects, some of which will

> be quite close to us. And

> 21 Lutetia is about 100 kilometres across. If that

> hits, then basically the

> earth is toast.

> 

> MG: So we're all going to die?

> 

> Professor: Yes.

> 

> MG: So there's no chance you are wrong?

> 

> Professor: We don't think so, although we did have

> to make certain assumptions.

> For example, the growth in mobile phone ownership

> over the past 25 years has

> been around 20,000 fold. If we assume the same rate

> of growth, by 2032 there

> will be 40 trillion handsets in use on the earth.

> That could present a serious

> problem.

> 

> MG: Indeed Professor Dummkopf - we'd like to thank

> you and the institute for

> your time.

> 

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