[StBernard] conservative and liberal

Westley Annis Westley at da-parish.com
Wed Oct 21 08:32:08 EDT 2009

This may not be precisely correct but it is pretty damned close. This is
NOT satire, unfortunately.

If a conservative doesn't like guns -- he doesn't buy one.

If a liberal doesn't like guns -- he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian -- he doesn't eat meat.

If a liberal is a vegetarian -- he wants all meat products banned for

If a conservative sees a foreign threat -- he thinks about how to defeat his

If a liberal sees a foreign threat -- he wonders how to surrender gracefully
and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual -- he quietly leads his life.

If a liberal is homosexual -- he demands legislated respect.

If a person of color is conservative -- he see himself as independently

A liberal counterpart sees himself as a victim in need of government

If a conservative is down-and-out -- he thinks about how to better his

A liberal wants government social services to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host -- he switches channels.

Liberals demand that talk show hosts they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer-- he doesn't go to church.

A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care -- he goes about shopping for
it, or may choose a job that provides it.

A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store -- he gets up, laughs and is

If a liberal slips and falls -- he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor
and then sues.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a
good laugh.

A liberal will delete it because he's "offended."


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