[StBernard] conservative and liberal
Westley at da-parish.com
Wed Oct 21 08:32:08 EDT 2009
This may not be precisely correct but it is pretty damned close. This is
NOT satire, unfortunately.
If a conservative doesn't like guns -- he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns -- he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian -- he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian -- he wants all meat products banned for
If a conservative sees a foreign threat -- he thinks about how to defeat his
If a liberal sees a foreign threat -- he wonders how to surrender gracefully
and still look good.
If a conservative is homosexual -- he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual -- he demands legislated respect.
If a person of color is conservative -- he see himself as independently
A liberal counterpart sees himself as a victim in need of government
If a conservative is down-and-out -- he thinks about how to better his
A liberal wants government social services to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host -- he switches channels.
Liberals demand that talk show hosts they don't like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer-- he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs health care -- he goes about shopping for
it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative slips and falls in a store -- he gets up, laughs and is
If a liberal slips and falls -- he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor
and then sues.
If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended."
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