[StBernard] conservative and liberal

[Westley Annis]

This may not be precisely correct but it is pretty damned close.  This is
NOT satire, unfortunately.


If a conservative doesn't like guns -- he doesn't buy one.

If a liberal doesn't like guns -- he wants all guns outlawed.



If a conservative is a vegetarian -- he doesn't eat meat.

If a liberal is a vegetarian -- he wants all meat products banned for
everyone.



If a conservative sees a foreign threat -- he thinks about how to defeat his
enemy.

If a liberal sees a foreign threat -- he wonders how to surrender gracefully
and still look good.



If a conservative is homosexual -- he quietly leads his life.

If a liberal is homosexual -- he demands legislated respect.



If a person of color is conservative -- he see himself as independently
successful.

A liberal counterpart sees himself as a victim in need of government
protection.



If a conservative is down-and-out -- he thinks about how to better his
situation.

A liberal wants government social services to take care of him.



If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host -- he switches channels.

Liberals demand that talk show hosts they don't like be shut down.



If a conservative is a non-believer-- he doesn't go to church.

A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)



If a conservative decides he needs health care -- he goes about shopping for
it, or may choose a job that provides it.

A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.



If a conservative slips and falls in a store -- he gets up, laughs and is
embarrassed.

If a liberal slips and falls -- he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor
and then sues.



If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a
good laugh.

A liberal will delete it because he's "offended."

mah