[Woodcarver] Annual poem posting

[Larry Odegard]

THANK YOU!!!  I laughed and laughed and now I better
start looking for the mallet again.  
Boy, havn't we all been there.

Larry




--- Ol' Don <oldon at earthlink.net> wrote:


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> 

> 

> "A Month Before Christmas"

> Ol' Don Burgdorf

> 

> 'Twas a month before Christmas and all 'round my

> place

> Were signs of a turmoil.  It looked a disgrace.

> Patterns and cut-outs and wood chips galore,

> Sawdust and paint drops all over the floor.

> A friend came by and asked, "What happened here?"

> I said, "I'm getting ready to spread Christmas

> cheer."

> People enjoy hand-made presents I said

> As I looked for my mallet under the bed.

> He was shaking his head as he walked out the door

> And I thought, he may not be back anymore.

> But that's alright, I've no time for chat.

> I wish I knew where that mallet was at.

> I once thought that power would get things done

> quicker

> So I went on-line and looked with my clicker

> But so many kinds tied my mind in a knot

> I'll just use the tools that I've got.

> I've V-tools and gouges and veiners and more,

> Bent gouges, a drawknife (which fell to the floor).

> Detail knives and skew chisels too,

> And wood held in place with a wood carver's screw.

> Smaller pieces of wood I hold in my hand

> And whittle away to create something grand.

> The time was short so I carved without rest.

> My obsession with carving became manifest.

> 'Bout the chips in the bed my wife threw a fit

> And I really thought she'd get over it

> But she screamed and shouted, "This marriage won't

> last!"

> I said, "Christmas is near, it's coming up fast."

> With my wood blanks and patterns, videos too-

> Instructions that tell me just what to do,

> I know these gifts will be done in a flash.

> I hope that my mallet's not out in the trash.

> Grain direction was wrong, apiece broke in half.

> Three serious pieces just good for a laugh.

> Others unfinished or painted so weird

> They look like something that ought to be feared.

> It didn't work out according to plan.

> It seems I'm a Santa also-ran.

> But if I had found that mallet I know

> These carvings would have been ready to go.

> By now Santa's packed and on his way

> With his, "Ho, ho, ho!".  In his fancy sleigh

> He's doing his job of spreading good cheer

> But I'm not so sure he'll be stopping here.

> Wife went home to mama, no one treats me kind.

> Everyone acts like I've lost my mind.

> The house is a mess, my life is a wreck.

> Next year I'll write everybody a check.

> 

> "Ol' Don" Burgdorf

> 

> You're invited to visit my studio/gallery at

> http://artofdon.com for a 

> visual tour of wood carvings and paintings as well

> as information about my 

> workshops, portfolios and CDs of original patterns

> created for woodcarvers.

> 

> For carving helps visit

> http://www.PictureTrail.com/carveroldon

> 

> Leiper's Fork, TN carving club --

> http://artofdon.com/Club.htm 

> 

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